Mid-day update

Typically I write at nite when the moons glow and lack of mental power causes me to go into soul flow mode. I typically just spew words from the heart without much thought as to what I'm saying. When I write during the day it's a little different. Jess tends to have diarrhea of the mouth during the day so there is a constant background convo going on between her and any object in the room. I call it kitty cat mode. It's really quite humorous, but makes for a different concentration level in my head.

As of late I have been in dream mode. Dreaming of what will happen when/if we make it back to KC. Dreaming of what we will do if things don't work out with TJ's. It has been cloudy/rainy here lately, hence daydream city. Not only that but this $1100 rent has stapled us to the couch. We could go do a lot free out doors things, but we have been lazy in the cloudy mornings and don't get the gumption up till it's time for me to goto work. We can't really afford going to the movie or eating out. When I lived in KS I ate out once a day. Typically ate for less than $5 a meal, because I knew the wait staff or was a bargain hunter. Monterey is a different scene though. A burger and fries at the local restaurant will run you $15 after tea and tip. Jess and I eat out maybe once a month now.

However, I'm not necessarily complaining about this. It's more healthy, and we have been having fun in the kitchen. It has been a big relationship builder for us. I used to go walking, or cook to free my mind of worries and let things straighten out enough to breath easy. It seems this same technique works for relationships too. I'm not just talking bout baby momma situations either. :)

This spring when I began trying to let my father into my life more I did the same thing. I invited him to town for lunch. When he got there I told him to park the car, we were gonna walk. He looked at me kind of funny since we usually drove the mile to downtown, but I frequently have strange ideas so he rolled with it. (he usually rolls with things anyways, super easy going) The 20 minute walk ended up being one of the best conversations I'd had with my dad in years. I have no idea what we talked about, but there was an ease to the relationships. We were equals. Just two guys walking down the street. It was an equal playing field. I wasn't worried about impressing him, and he wasn't worried about saving the day. He was just my dad.

Moral of the story, you simplify one thing, it tends to simplify other things too. Also, getting back to nature tends to help things, like relationships, take a natural flow.

"You have to love yourself before you can learn to love others." Thank god for all those lonesome walks and meals-for-one.

Separate note. I want to start building hay bail houses when I come back to KC. They are super efficient and cheap. My current dream is to have some land in NW Arkansas. Land with a spring, maple trees, and farm-able soil. I'll build my hay bail community and live sustainably. Start my own tribe. 10-20 ppl.

(meanwhile)

This has been Jessica's cat nip for the last twenty minutes. It's pretty funny.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/gf8siTvcYkOMGtim